HOW CAN I GET TO HELL?

i'm a Christian. i believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. they say i'm going to Heaven. i dont want to go to Heaven. God is evil. i'm 18 years old and he gave me ual urges. he makes me lust after women. i want to save myself for marriage. he wont let me. he keeps giving me these urges at such a young age. i hate masturbating. it does nothing but wastes my time. it just gets in the way. i cant even concentrate. i'll be reading a book, and then all of the sudden i get a b0ner. it's not even me. it just does it on its own. why does God do this to people? i'm not ready to have yet. i'm only 18. i want to save myself for marriage. i want to be between me and my wife and the procreation of our kids. God is a sick person. i dont want to spend eternity with him. are u kidding me? he allows people to suffer all around the world. he created me, and i didnt even ask to be here. what a sick man? i do love his son Jesus Christ though. he's my role model. i believe in his free gift of Salvation, but i dont want to spend eternity with God. i just want to dissappear forever. or maybe just go to Hell. atleast Hell doesn't have a bunch of hypocritical Christians. i'm a Christian, but i'm not a hypocrite. Atheists are not bad people like Christians say they are. i find most Atheists to be more mature and nicer than Christians. and they're not hypocrites. so Christians, tell me how a Christian like me can spend eternity in Hell. I dont want to meet God. he's evil. any advice would be helpful. also, God made me ugly. why would he make me ugly and have people make fun of me all the time cuz of how i look. here is a photo of ugly me.